Guilting the Lily

One of the Web sites I run is Slavery in the North. I like to track the links to it because I bet it's one of the few on the Web that draws approving words from both Afro-centric Web pages and white power goons. History is like that; if you put the facts up straight, people will take it and make of it what they will.

Today, I found a track back from a Talkleft.com archive discussion of "Slavery in America." An uninformed poster had gloated about how the North was slavery-free, and someone steered in my site to correct him. It didn't seem to do any good.

Further down, as the discussion tried to get back on track, I came across this priceless sample of dishrag progressive guilt-prose, reproduced here misspellings and all:

This should be a very good show on a subject I didn't learn about until doing research in College.

African's were indentured and then enslaved simply because caucasion servants immigrating from Europe basically kept dying. The Africans were stronger and healthier, and saved many a settlement from ruin by bringing skills such as indigo making or rice growing to the New World.

In addition, we totally screwed the blacks in the post-emancipation period (the ones we didn't kill, that is), and have continued to belittle them for the "crime" of being enslaved. Honestly, it reminds me of the way women who are raped by enemy troops are treated in some countries, i.e. "we're really sorry it happenend, but could you just get over it please and stop talking about it"?

In non-practical terms, this country owes African Americans a wealth of gratitude and capital and I try not to forget it as a white woman. I make a point not to participate in racist conversations or pretend racist comments are funny. Even though my family is third generation American and weren't slave owners, I benefit from being blond haired and blue eyed. People open doors for me. I can "cuff" a coffee at Starbucks if I forget my purse. I get a free paper from the newspaper guy sometimes. I've had pot in my car and not gotten searched when stopped. And I'm much more likely to marry a caucasion man who is much more likely (on average!) to have considerably more assets than the men my Af-Am sisters are likely to end up with.

So, I do feel responsible, and ashamed for my ancestors. And, furious that slavery is still going on in PLAIN SIGHT of the world in it's knowledge of the suffering. THIS is what we all should feel guilty about.

In the meantime, I smile at black folks and look them in the eye to let them know I see them as human. I've read the most heartbreaking of Toni Morisson (Forget about Faulkner - I think everyone in this country should be required to read Beloved). I've even dated a few black guys and am embarrassed to admit what a big deal it was to overcome the extreme predjudice my "Blue State" very Christian parents had raised me with.

But mostly, I listen. Because that's what, in my opinion, white folks have not done. We've told blacks to get over it, much the way an errant husband, after being caught having an affair, tells his wife to "get over it. It's in the past".

Dr. Phil says, in the relationship example, that the only way for the relationship to be fixed is for the husband to listen to the wife until he truly understands how much he's hurt her and what his actions have made her feel like.

It's hard to listen to how you've hurt people, especially if you didn't mean to. But I'm trying.