Babel-icious

Have you ever used Lost in Translation? Oh, you should. It's a great way to kill a few minutes online and get some giggles.

The site is a linguistic Warring blender. It takes any English text you happen to have lying around, and uses Systran computer translation software to turn it into some other language, then back to English.

If you used to like playing "whisper down the line" (also known as "telephone"), you'll like this. If you're like me and got an enormous kick out of Mark Twain's own re-Anglicization of the French translation of his jumping frog story (THE FROG JUMPING OF THE COUNTY OF CALAVERAS), then you'll like this cyber-version.

Here, for instance, is the famous opening passage of "Pride and Prejudice":

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

"My dear Mr. Bennet," said his lady to him one day, "have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?"

Mr. Bennet replied that he had not.

"But it is," returned she; "for Mrs. Long has just been here, and she told me all about it."

Mr. Bennet made no answer.

"Do not you want to know who has taken it?" cried his wife impatiently.

"You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it."

This was invitation enough.

Insert in the babel-izer, and set to "Japanese," and turn it back into English and it looks like this:

As for that the wife we want the single person of possession ones of of the truth good fortune which is recognized generally that is and becomes it is.

Opinion it is known, how it enters into the neighborhood perhaps whether feeling that kind of person a little it is that 1st, this truth him heart of thing and the around group which are considered as lawful property of 1 or other than their daughters is such a healthy fixing.

The person who becomes "Bennet my love, 1 day Netherfield park end is huge."

The makes hear as for Bennet he did not have that woman who said that it is authorized, to his, you answered.

But the "as for that, it is in love with she who" was reset; Concerning that for "lady Long was exactly here, as for her it said in me completely."

Bennet did not make answering.

"that? Whether" you took, that wife shouted impatiently you do not think that someone would like to know.

The "and I say, objection to the hearing that. "Not possessing this me you want, was 10??

invitation.

OK, bad enough -- or good enough.

But then, having translated it to Japanese and back to English, it then goes on to translate this already garbled text to Chinese, back to English (where it acquires the delightful line "Bennet, my love personnel, that woman which he has not eaten as for Bennet said is huge"), into French, back into English, into German, back into English, and so on through Italian, Portuguese, and Spanish.

The result, after 10 different translations and six different languages, is this:

We demanded the characteristic, about that he we worried to this woman who only the meeting of the personnel of the authorization is and it becomes, so that the wealth of the truth that takes.

The test of the verification that the method knows, because the connection the proximity possibly considered that the team of employees is the 1, th this truth that if it is material internal part considers him therefore and the group, because 1 is or excluded the part from those the relative son the valid attribute east type from the healthful repair.

My personal transformano of love in "in Bennet," 1 park finishes them of the date of Netherfield, the one that is the woman, who did not eat it, the so distant how much Bennet, that it admits is, when ' ' "the production means it, excess to approve of enormously, you the one that you answered.

But this is introduced "interests this, the relative love of him" that he; In him who she is the woman ", of who interests it that she thought completely of me, here is longitudinally exact.

"the answers of Bennet" had not given the form to this?

If ' ' you estimated, of the grida one of this woman who you would wish empazientemente to safe person of the one whom she is of the session of not believing to the knowledge.

"and I said, with hearing of the opposition that one.

"this mine had does not have them to being the demanded one, 10å..

I invite ã..

Ta-da! If a room full of monkeys can turn out Shakespeare in 1,000 years, a single computer can turn Shakespeare into a room-full of monkeys in a matter of nanoseconds. I call that progress.

If that's not good enough for you, here's the passage in "Redneck:"

It is a truth unyversally acsmartsd, thet a sin'le man in postesshun of a fine fo'tune muss be in be hankerin' of a wife.

Howevah li'l known th' feelin's o' views of sech a man may be on his fust interin' a neighbourhood, this hyar truth is so fine fixed in th' minds of th' surroun'in' families, thet he is cornsidered as th' rightful propuhty of some one o' other of their dotters.

``Mah dear Mr. Bennet,'' said his lady t'him one day, ``have yo' heard thet Netherfield Park is let at last?''

Mr. Bennet replied thet he had not.

``But it is,'' returned she; ``fo' Mrs. Long has jest been hyar, an' she told me all about it.''

Mr. Bennet made no answer.

``Do notcha be hankerin' t'knows who has taken it?'' cried his wife impatiently.

``Yer hankerin' t'tell me, an' ah have no objeckshun t'hearin' it.''

This hyar was invitashun inough.

Courtesy of The Dialectizer