Christianity for the Confused

Hilarious. After reading one of those "The theocons are coming, the theocons are coming!!" scare-pieces in Salon, and noticing how often the author got tangled up in the leashes while walking her dogma, "Holy Office" prints this handy program to the faith. Without stealing too much thunder, here's a sample:

Rapture

This was a #1 hit in 1980 for Blondie (#5 in the UK), from the otherwise underwhelming "Autoamerican" album. Many Christians now concede that the then-pioneering use of rap in the song sounds a little lame in retrospect. In their best-selling series of books about the song, "Left Behind (Parallel Lines)," Jerry Jenkins and Tim LaHaye defend the rap verse's hip references to Grandmaster Flash and Fab Five Freddy, and maintain that when Jesus returns, all believers will be united in accepting that Blondie's cover of "The Tide Is High" is better than the original.

[Hat tip: Eve Tushnet]