Help, I'm Being Repressed!
I haven't found an exact list of the 16 interrogation techniques approved by Rumsfeld and used in Guantanamo in a bid to extract information from Mohammed al-Qahtani, the latest alleged "20th hijacker" in the September 11 attacks.
Whcih is a shame, because, given the hue and cry about them, I really wanted to know what they involved. Instead, I've had to pluck out horror stories of what actually was done to Mr. al-Qahtani, as reported in various media sources online. I've found 16 distinct treatments listed in them. And I compared them to my own life:
So I hit on 15 out of 16. Not bad! Chuck Hagel apparently thinks my life should offend the sensibilities of "any straight-thinking American, any straight-thinking citizen of the world." While Sen. Dianne Feinstein thinks my life presents "a kind of ludicrous view of the United States."
Whcih is a shame, because, given the hue and cry about them, I really wanted to know what they involved. Instead, I've had to pluck out horror stories of what actually was done to Mr. al-Qahtani, as reported in various media sources online. I've found 16 distinct treatments listed in them. And I compared them to my own life:
- Playing Christina Aguilera tunes to awaken suspects or keep them awake.
I'm awakened by blaring, shouting, angry rap music at all hours in my neighborhood. I'm not much of Christina fan, but at least her voice is something sexy to wake up to, not a string of expletives. - Making a suspect growl at pictures of terrorists.
Cultural difference allowance: I'd growl at pictures of terrorists for free. But Mr. al-Qahtani presumably likes them, wants to be liked by them, wants to be in their presence. What's my equivalent? Natalie Glebova? I'd growl at that. - Removal of clothing.
I've never been to Cuba in August, but I have been to Key West, which is about 90 miles north of the island. And I couldn't wait to strip down to the barest legal minimum. Don't let that image linger in your mental vision too long, though. - Exploiting individual phobias.
Well, considering I live in constant proximity to snarling dogs and vicious drug dealers, I'd say I fit this bill. - “Mild, non-injurious physical contact such as grabbing, poking in the chest with the finger and light pushing.”
Every time we visit NYC and board the cross-town bus. - Being awakened by having water dripping on his head.
Not since I finally scraped enough money together to fix that attic window frame, but a regular occurrence on rainy nights before that. - Being interrogated in a booth decorated with pictures of September 11 victims, American flags and red lights.
In my newsdesk job, I have to view such images all the time. - Strip searches.
Ever had a company physical at Philadelphia Electric Company, where I worked my summer vacations in college? - Having pictures of scantily clad women hung around his neck.
I'm willing to make allowances for cultural differences here. Scantily clad women mean something different to Mr. al-Qahtani, presumably, than they do to me. So my equivalent might be "women clad in head-covering veils." Like the little Madonna medallion that an old lady sold me in an Italian train station and I wore in Europe in 1979. - "Invasion of Space by a Female."
As in the above entry, I'm willing to do the cultural equivalency shift. Invasion of space by a lot of women in veils? Sounds like a belly-dancing night at Marrakesh restaurant. Been there, done that. Went back for more. - Refusing al-Qahtani a bathroom break.
Rumsfeld should meet the person who designed the long tree-less, exit-less stretches of the Pennsylvania Turkpike, complete with advertised "rest stations" that are now closed and boarded up. And make no mistake, that is torture! - Standing for prolonged periods.
Substitute teaching at Reynolds Junior High School. [Ever look at the feet of a veteran schoolteacher?] - A satirical puppet show.
Substitute teaching at Reynolds Junior High School. - Isolation for up to 30 days.
I'm honestly drawing a blank on this one. Plenty of times I wished for that and didn't get it, though. - Forced shaving of facial hair.
About half the bosses I ever had. - Bottled water poured over suspect's head when he refused to drink.
No, but again, every time I've been in the tropics, I've done that to myself.
So I hit on 15 out of 16. Not bad! Chuck Hagel apparently thinks my life should offend the sensibilities of "any straight-thinking American, any straight-thinking citizen of the world." While Sen. Dianne Feinstein thinks my life presents "a kind of ludicrous view of the United States."
