Monday, August 07, 2006


Alistair Cooke, the best -- and one of the only -- friends America ever had among the professional British media, was plundered after death by a ghoul from an American funeral home.

NEW YORK - A funeral home director targeted in the investigation of a body-parts ring that plundered the corpses of "Masterpiece Theatre" host Alistair Cooke and other people has agreed to cooperate with authorities, a lawyer for the lead defendant revealed Monday.

There isn't a book big enough to throw at this fool.

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If terrorists had pulled off an attack that took out 8 percent of America's domestic oil production for months and brought the country to the brink of economic crisis, we'd be looking around for someone to bomb. But when a corporate oil giant's negligence has the same result, it's just the way the cookie crumbles.

Yeah, I know someone on the left is probably saying that, too, right now. I don't have to look there to know. So what? They're right. This administration failed in the War on Terror, I think, principally because it forgot that, even when a superpower is fighting abroad, there's always a home front. And that if we want to stay the same, as it says in the post down there, we have to change.

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Floyd Landis just keeps digging it deeper. When you're reduced to 1. blaming the media, 2. blaming the French, 3. complaining that your rights were violated by the process, you're clinging to the threads of an unraveled story.

Look, every guy understands this, if it happened the way I think: The guy choked in the race. But he has his pride. OK, so he gives himself a little kick so he can get some of that pride back in the next stage. But he fucks up and wins. And now it's all under scrutiny. Maybe I'd do that. It sounds like some of the screw-ups I've pulled off over the years.

But then you just put your hand up and hang your head and acknowledge the foul.