Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Fair And Balanced

[Posted by reader_iam]

SteveH does Franken AND O'Reilly within 24 hours! Man, he's the man:
I don’t know why no one listens. I guess America doesn’t want to listen to good radio. I guess they’d rather listen to O’Reilly, lyin’ big fat lies out of his big fat lyin’ liar face.

I talked to Leaf and Rajneesh. I told them I wanted to have a meeting with them in the intern office. I said I wanted to rap about some heavy stuff, so I would appreciate it if they would meet me in their crib so I could lay the 911 on them.

I went in there and sat down, and they seemed really nice. They were quiet, and they listened, and they even offered me some gum. I told them I didn’t want to come off like a big paternalistic Eurocentric white male bloviator. Like O’Reilly. I said I knew they were just showing that they were important and valid, too, and that that was…okay. But it wasn’t cool that I kept sittin’ in fudge and Rice Krispies treats. And they needed to knock that stuff off.
Talking Points isn’t a mean guy. But I will not stand for a popinjay like Napolitano, trying to tell me I can’t sue Stuart Smalley’s bloviating parents. If you disagree, I’ll give you the last word. Then I’ll sue YOU.

Talking Points doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. Talking Points is the highest-paid, highest-rated cable news host in the history of this universe or, I might add, any universe that could possibly be imagined. You can read more about how highly rated Talking Points is in the premium area at Billoreilly.com. It only costs seventy-five dollars a week, and you get a free sweatband, and soon I’ll have a twenty-four-hour-a-day roving Factorcam so you can see me bashing liberal pinheads not just here, but in stores and restaurants and even while I sleep. Many people talk in their sleep. Only Talking Points has also trained himself to interrupt.
We link, YOU decide: Which one made you laugh hardest?