Pardon Paris?!

[Posted by reader_iam]

Puh-leeze:

“This petition is to ask Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon Paris Hilton for her mistake,” the petition author writes. “Please allow her to her return to her career and life. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't hurt or kill anyone, and she has learned her lesson. She is sincere, apologetic, and full of regret for her actions as she explained tearfully to the Judge handling her case in court.”

Piffle:

Ms Hilton has told paparazzi photographers her sentence is "cruel and unwarranted", and to illustrate her point will appear on the cover of Harper's Bazaar in June wearing a zebra-print prison outfit while running away from models dressed as policemen. Details of her endorsement of the "nline petition" (sic) first appeared on her page on the myspace website yesterday. "My friend Joshua started this petition," her blog post read, "please help and sihn [sic] it. i LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!"

Puke:

The letter to Mr Schwarzenegger says Ms Hilton should be freed because "she provides hope for young people all over the US and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives."

Parody:

"If the late former president Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon former president Richard Nixon after his mistake(s)," reads the appeal, "we undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake as well, and we expect that the governor will understand and grant this unusual but important request."

Priceless. Purely priceless.