Overly Dramatic Useless Gestures

[Posted by reader_iam]

All those fine minds at Yale University, and when faced with the tragedy at VA Tech and how to respond to it--because, of course, they must do something, anything, to prove that they're considering the issues seriously and taking immediate steps to address them--they decide to restrict the use of weapons in theatre productions.

Students involved in this weekend’s production of “Red Noses” said they first learned of the new rules on Thursday morning, the same day the show was slated to open. They were subsequently forced to alter many of the scenes by swapping more realistic-looking stage swords for wooden ones, a change that many students said was neither a necessary nor a useful response to the tragedy at Virginia Tech.

According to students involved in the production, Trachtenberg has banned the use of some stage weapons in all of the University’s theatrical productions. While shows will be permitted to use obviously fake plastic weapons, students said, those that hoped to stage more realistic scenes of stage violence have had to make changes to their props.
...
“Red Noses” director Sarah Holdren ’08 said she first heard about the changes in a phone call from a friend as she arrived at the Off-Broadway Theater on Thursday morning. At the theater, technical director Jim Brewczynski told her about the new regulations. The pair then met with Trachtenberg, who initially wanted no stage weapons to be used in the show, [emphasis added] Holdren said, though she later agreed to permit the use of obviously fake weapons.
...
Berger also said he finds the ruling inconsistent because forms of stage violence that do not involve weapons — such as hangings — are still permitted.

Everyone feel safer now?

I'm not sure why Trachtenberg thinks infantalizing her university community and making Yale a laughingstock is supposed to combat violence and Make The World A Better Place. It's probably not worth asking her, since the incoherence of the decision and its implementation makes clear that she's one befuddled person. And the fact that she would seriously suggest that the production in question be staged without essential props--what, the actors were supposed to wave invisible weapons in the air, like 6-year-olds at play during recess?--brings her basic intelligence into question, and that of any other administrators involved.

Just what we need now: More hysterical thinking and overly theatrical responses, and from our supposedly elite Institutions Of Higher Learning.

What a joke.

Sigh.

Assaulting Story

[Posted by reader_iam]

I'm not sure whether all the saturation coverage of Monday's VA Tech killings somehow didn't reach a 26-year-old Tennessee mom, or whether it really got to her (or if she's just completely oblivious, judgment-free, tasteless and stupid), but Heather Nicole Berg's decision on Tuesday to "shoot" at kindergartners in a classroom with a toy gun" has resulted in a misdemeanour assault charge being filed against her. (Church Hill, the town in which this took place, is along the Virginia border, by the way.) According to the AP article on Knoxnews.com, the police, after consulting with the local DA, decided that "her actions caused others to 'reasonably fear imminent bodily injury'." School officials had already decided to ban her from the Church Hill Elementary School for a year--though in order to enforce that, they'll have to be a little more vigilant about enforcing their own policies (see below).

From the Kingsport Times-News:

[Principal Jean] Heise told the Times-News on Wednesday the woman entered the school about 2:45 p.m. Tuesday and walked to her child's kindergarten classroom without obtaining a visitor's pass from the office.

The mom paid the teacher for an upcoming field trip, and the alleged incident occurred while the teacher had her back turned logging in the payment.

"The mom walked in toward the middle of the classroom, and the teacher heard this click, click, click, click - like four to six times" Heise said. "A teacher's assistant witnessed her take a gun and point it directly toward four to five kids. With everything that's happened the last couple of days, she (the assistant) was just in shock and was upset.

"(The assistant) froze and was kind of in terror because it took a few seconds for her to realize it was a toy."

The mom then left with a small child who was accompanying her and took the gun with her. Heise said she didn't see the toy gun, but is was described as metallic silver and western style, possibly like a cap pistol.
...
Heise said one little boy seemed very shocked after the alleged incident took place, and he didn't come to school Wednesday.

"Two kids described it as a toy gun, and two kids described it as a gun," Heise said. "That's pretty scary."

You know what? If I can't even imagine what the hell this brain trust was thinking, there's no way I'm ever going to understand what goes on in the mind of someone as disturbed and twisted as the likes of Seung-Hui Cho's.

I don't know if an assault charge, even a misdemeanor one, is going to make it to or through the court system; at least the gesture, if that's what it turns out to be, might provide the opportunity to check this lady out to make sure that she really is just an idiot with an impaired sense of fun, or funny, or whatever it is she was intending.

Assuming that's the case, I hope her community assaults her right back--with waves of disapproval. (But not her kids, especially the one that, given the field-trip reference, you'd assume attends that school. Can you imagine being that kid just about now?)

"The Face of the GOP"

Slate does a frivolous piece on who the novelists are voting for. Not surprisingly, the emotional conditions of novelists count very few red states.

Many of these literary geniuses already have abandoned the U.S. and have lived abroad in various castles and villas for the entire Bush administration, but they still will tell you with brass assurance that its continuance would be tragic for an America these folks can't be bothered to inhabit.

At least Updike makes a case for a Kerry vote that is not out to the left of Michael Moore. And I can still read Lorrie Moore without feeling my political gorge rise. As for the rest of them, most weren't on my A-list anyhow.

But the best anecdote comes from someone named Thomas Beller. (If you really want to insult a writer, pretend you never heard of him. In this case, it's not pretending.) He writes:

I saw the face of the Republican Party the other day at the Saratoga racetrack. It was the last day of the races, and a small woman with a big hat walked through the crowd carrying a handmade sign, written in script: "Little Old Ladies in White Tennis Shoes For Kerry," it said at the top and beneath it, "The best bet of the day." She moved through the crowd, a big smile, holding the sign over her head. I watched as she passed an old-young guy, mid-30s, already well-paunched, gold watch, smoking a cigar. He looked at her, at the sign, and then bent forward and spat out a nasty remark in her ear. I was too far away to hear it. But the way he shook his head after he passed her, his body language, maybe just the watch, I was sure it was nasty. She, however, didn't flinch —- which in a way I took to be the best political news of the week.

OK, so you saw a little old lady for Kerry. And you saw a guy talk to her. And you just know he was a Republican. How? He had a gut and he smoked a cigar? Good enough for me! And he said something to her. And even though she didn't flinch, that proves it was something nasty, something "spat," not said. Of course, you didn't hear what he said but you know this because he was a Republican! (The watch, remember?) And the fact that the old lady didn't take it amiss was not, in fact, a sign that he said something innocuous or even polite, but that she's a true hero!

If this guy's writing career goes south, he's always got a job waiting for him in my newsroom.