Oh, Boy, Green Day
This just in: GREEN DAY added to the star-studded line-up for next week's Hurricane Katrina relief concert.
Oh joy! That should put the spring back in America's step. That should give the downtrodden victims of the natural disaster a reason to look up in hope to the future. That should help heal the wounds of a national fabric tattered by riots and looting.
Why, how can you not come away with a smilt and a sunny attitude after hearing lyrics like this?
Er, well, OK, so their big radio hit is not exactly a paean to the spirit of the common people who will pull themselves through the crisis even as their government agencies struggle.
But hey, that's just one song off an album. For raising your spirits, how about this? [Cue the next track]
No, no, OK, not that one. Wait, there must be some ray of hope in here somewhere ...
Whoops, that definitely won't do. Keep going ...
Ah, um, we, that might do for a benefit ball for rioters and looters, but, here try this one ...
Oh, dear, bad to worse. There must be something that pushed these guys to the top of the artists' list for a concert in the wake of the greatest natural disaster the country has ever faced. When people need to rally broken spirits, they turn to works like Beethoven's Ninth. There must be something that at least aspires to that in this band's playlist:
[silence]
Um, hey, Green Day, why don't you take a pass on this concert. Your vocal chords must be all tired after that big MTV show.
Oh joy! That should put the spring back in America's step. That should give the downtrodden victims of the natural disaster a reason to look up in hope to the future. That should help heal the wounds of a national fabric tattered by riots and looting.
Why, how can you not come away with a smilt and a sunny attitude after hearing lyrics like this?
Don't wanna be an American idiot.
Don't want a nation under the new mania.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mind fuck America.
...
Well maybe I'm the faggot America.
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.
Er, well, OK, so their big radio hit is not exactly a paean to the spirit of the common people who will pull themselves through the crisis even as their government agencies struggle.
But hey, that's just one song off an album. For raising your spirits, how about this? [Cue the next track]
Everyone is so full of shit
Born and raised by hypocrites
Hearts recycled but never saved
From the cradle to the grave
We are the kids of war and peace
From Anaheim to the middle east
We are the stories and disciples
Of the Jesus of suburbia
Land of make believe
No, no, OK, not that one. Wait, there must be some ray of hope in here somewhere ...
Hear the sound of the falling rain
Coming down like an Armageddon flame (Hey!)
The shame
The ones who died without a name
Whoops, that definitely won't do. Keep going ...
Zieg Heil to the president gasman
Bombs away is your punishment
Pulverize the Eiffel towers
Who criticize your government
Bang bang goes the broken glass and
Kill all the fags that don't agree
Trials by fire, setting fire
Is not a way that's meant for me
Just cause, just cause, because we're outlaws yeah!
Ah, um, we, that might do for a benefit ball for rioters and looters, but, here try this one ...
My name is Jimmy and you better not wear it out
Suicide commando that your momma talked about
King of the forty theives
And I'm here to represent
That needle in the vein of the establishment
...
I really hate to say it but I told you so
So shut your mouth before I shoot you down old boy
Welcome to the club and give me some blood
And the resident leader at the lost and found
Oh, dear, bad to worse. There must be something that pushed these guys to the top of the artists' list for a concert in the wake of the greatest natural disaster the country has ever faced. When people need to rally broken spirits, they turn to works like Beethoven's Ninth. There must be something that at least aspires to that in this band's playlist:
Where have all the bastards gone?
The underbelly stacks up ten high
The dummy failed the crash test
Collecting unemployment checks
Like a flunkie along for the ride
Where have all the riots gone
As the city's motto gets pulverized?
What's in love is now in debt
On your birth certificate
So strike the fucking match to light this fuse!
...
Well nobody cares
Well nobody cares
Does anyone care if nobody cares?
...
A clean-cut All-American,
Really ain't so clean.
His royal auditorium,
Is a murder scene.
[silence]
Um, hey, Green Day, why don't you take a pass on this concert. Your vocal chords must be all tired after that big MTV show.
