"A Thing Of Booty: Loving Your Backside"

That's the Today story that greeted me, in progress, when I stumbled down the stairs this morning and walked into the room in which a television was already blaring. You know, it oughta be a crime to assault the pre-caffeinated with such gems of profundity as this:

"Even if butts are in, women are never going to be happy."

Gosh, even if peace and prosperity were suddenly to descend upon all the earth and low-flush toilets were to work the first time (a story from later)?

Next up: How To Avoid Mr. Wrong While Looking For Mr. Right.

Sigh.